Brittany's Kissed List
by Obscure Stranger
Summary: Brittany has kissed every boy and girl at McKinley, even the janitor. Here are a few unseen moments...
1. Brittany and Artie

Fandom: Glee

One-shot: Brittany's Kissed List

Artie/Brittany

* * *

It was a rainy day in Lima, Ohio. The sky was overcast and drops of water were falling from the clouds. Artie was at the one place at the school where a ramp was located, which was the exact opposite of the place where he needed to be. Usually he would have no problem with that. Usually he could just wheel himself up the ramp and to his destination as quickly as he could. However, today was not usual.

Someone, most likely the stupid football team, had decided that it would be just hilarious to block off the ramp. He kept trying, but the stupid barrier would not budge. He furiously pushed at it, his vision blurring. He stopped suddenly, his breathing ragged. His glasses had water drops sliding down the surface and he quickly tore them off, wiping at the lenses with the hem of his sweater vest.

Suddenly his chair was tilted back, he startled, almost dropping his glasses as he was pushed over the barrier. Artie quickly shoved his glasses onto his face and turned his head around to see Brittany, one of the Cheerios. She was in one of his classes. She looked down at him, her hazel eyes slightly glazed over, as she kept pushing him up the ramp until they made it to the door. Artie grabbed the handle, pulling it open and moving himself so she could go in first. She walked in, her red and white skirt fluttering and he wheeled in behind her.

She paused, glancing at him for a moment.

He cleared his throat, "Thanks," he murmured, "For helping me with my..." he trailed off.

She leaned over, her face inches from his, "You have really blue eyes," she commented before she lightly touched her lips to his.

He froze, blue eyes staring at her in shock. "I-I-I-" he stuttered.

"I forgot how to use the stairs," Brittany announced airily. She faced forward and walked down the hall leaving behind a confused Artie.


	2. Brittany and Fin

Fandom: Glee

One-shot: Brittany's Kissed List

Fin/Brittany

* * *

The time that Fin and Brittany had kissed was at a party their freshman year. It was during a game of truth or dare that Brittany hadn't been paying attention to; the sparkly birthday banner taped to the basement wall had distracted her. "I can, like, see my reflection," she murmured.

"Dude, truth or dare," a young Puck asked, flexing his muscles.

Fin narrowed his eyes at him, his brow furrowing in concentration before choosing-"Dare."

Puck's eyes glinted mischievously as he looked around the room, his gaze landing on each of the members for a moment. "_Santana, nah, Fin isn't ready for that kinda girl yet, anyway she and I have been-_" He shook his head, "_Focus, Puckzilla, you got to hook your man up_." His eyes slowly slid from Santana to Brittany. "_Perfect -_" Puck shifted, "Alright, man, I dare you to kiss Brittany."

Fin, who had been staring at Quinn from the corner of his eyes, started to panic, "What? But she's like a girl!"

Puck gave him a look, "Does that mean you'd rather kiss a dude? Because I'm gonna have to ask you to leave if-"

"No! It's just," Fin, stuttered, "isn't that kind of thing important for girls."

"I lost my kissing virginity when I was in kindergarten," Santana commented, twirling a tendril of hair around her finger. Brittany's gaze slowly moved from the banner to the rest of the group.

Puck slapped Fin on the shoulder, "C'mon man, do it."

Fin gulped nervously, feeling as though sweat was pouring down the back of his neck. He shuffled over to Brittany, glancing over his shoulder at his friends who were waiting expectantly. He turned back around to face the blonde girl and almost hesitantly kissed her. She responded belatedly, blinking as Fin pulled away, his face turning a bright red.

"Finally!" Puck half-shouted. Brittany stared at Finn who was rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

She had only one comment: "You have pretty side burns."


	3. Brittany and Rachel

Fandom: Glee

One-shot: Brittany's Kissed List

Brittany/Rachel

* * *

When Brittany kissed Rachel Berry it had been to test a theory.

Brittany couldn't quite remember what she had been talking about. She thinks that it had been when Rachel and that one—James? Jessup? Jesse?—kid had been going out. Brittany didn't understand why the small brunette didn't just have sex with him and be done with it. That's what she does and it worked perfectly for her.

"—and then we were making out and it was getting really intense. My dads were out of the house because it was their date night and then he put his hand—"

Brittany stared at the other girl mouth. How could she talk so fast without breathing? Was she a vampire like those ones from that movie? Her eyes widened as Rachel kept blabbing on and on without stopping to take a breath.

Her brow furrowed. There was only one way to find out.

She leaned forward towards the unsuspecting Rachel Berry and quickly kissed her.

After a few seconds, Brittany broke the kiss, thinking intently. "_She didn't bite me and her lips were pretty warm. I guess she's not a vampire."_ With that matter solved the Cheerio stood and exited the room to find Santana leaving a gobsmacked Rachel behind.

Rachel opened and closed her mouth, bringing one hand to her lips.


	4. Brittany and Tina

Fandom: Glee

One-shot: Brittany's Kissed List

Brittany/Tina

* * *

Brittany had trouble remembering why exactly she had kissed Tina Cohen-Chang or if she even had kissed the girl. Had she?

The Gothic girl had just been sitting in the Glee rehearsal room by herself looking very unhappy… or confused. Brittany couldn't really tell the difference.

She had been wearing her Lady Gaga outfit and Brittany couldn't help herself from staring at the bubbles. "_So pretty!" _The blonde cheerios leaned over, staring at one of the bubbles that were resting on the Asian girl's shoulder. She reached out one finger and poked it, startling Tina.

"Bubbles are like circular rainbows."

Tina discreetly tried to pull away, but was thwarted as Brittany moved forward, intently staring at her face.

"I like bubbles," the blonde girl said.

"M-m-me too?" Tina said with a hint of confusion. Brittany didn't let the other girl's confusion bother her; after all she was confused about everything more than half the time. Or was it half than more the time?

Tina glanced over at the door, hoping that the rest of the Glee Club would show up soon. The silver lobster on Brittany's head loomed closer and closer. She was going cross eyed, staring at it and let out a yelp of surprise as a pair of soft lips touched hers and she fell to the ground, the chair sliding out from under her.

Brittany frowned, "I thought that your lips would taste like rice."


	5. Brittany and Mercedes

Fandom: Glee

One-shot: Brittany's Kissed List

Brittany/Mercedes

* * *

Brittany was sitting in the audience with her customary confused look on her face. Her eyes were focused on the shiny guitar of one of the band members that were setting up on the stage for that night's band concert when Mercedes walked on the stage.

The diva was just minding her own business about to practice her kick ass vocal warm ups before Glee practice. She desperately wanted to kick Rachel's butt in the solo competition. The white girl always got to sing and Mercedes was sick of it. She was Beyonc_é_not some glorified background singer. She got mad just thinking about it.

Didn't Mr. Schue recognize her talent? It was at times like this where Mercedes kind of missed being on the Cheerios, at least she was somewhat appreciated there, though there was no way she was going back to Ms. Sylvester and tot-free lunches. Just as she was about to dive deeper into the realm of depressing thoughts, Brittany pulled herself on the stage, sitting on the edge and swinging her legs back and forth. She popped her bubblegum, chewing loudly and Mercedes stared. _What the hell was that skinny ass white girl doing here?_

"You have, like, an awesome voice and you're the color of chocolate. If you were in my Easter basket Lord Tubbington probably would've eaten you," the blonde Cheerio said matter-of-factly.

Mercedes quirked an eyebrow, jutting out her hip with her hands on her waist. "What're you doing here?"

"I thought that school was over so I tried to leave the building, but I got lost." Brittany looked up at her, "And you looked like really upset, like someone stole your bird or something."

Mercedes sighed, sitting down next to the girl. She said some odd things, but she at least noticed something was wrong, unlike Kurt who was focused on Blaine and their coffee dates, and Tina who was really into Mike's abs, and Santana who wasn't really one of her good friends anyway, and Mr. Schuester who was trying to get with Ms. Pillsbury, and… well, you get the picture.

"I just really want a solo. I'm tired of just belting out the last bit of the song," she finally said.

Brittany tilted her head, still chewing her gum. "Well, I don't have one of those with me, but I could, like, give you some gum. That always makes me feel better. I love bubblegum, especially the bubbly kind. It's just so bubbly and delicious."

"Alright, I guess I'll take a piece," Mercedes cracked a small smile, turning to look at the other girl.

Brittany slowly moved forward, locking lips with the diva and slipped her tongue into the others mouth. She pulled back a few seconds later and brightly smiled, "I have to go to my locker and feed Lady Chirpington the II the birdseed that I got for her."

Mercedes nodded, absentmindedly chewing on the strawberry flavored bubblegum that was now in her mouth. She froze.

Did that just happen?

Did Brittany just steal her first kiss?

Her head quickly snapped to the side, watching Brittany exit the auditorium at a skip. She was about to storm after the Cheerio when she realized that she still hadn't practiced. Her eyes narrowed, kicking Rachel's ass and taking all the glory was much more important than whatever had just happened.

Was she going to let Rachel Berry win because of Brittany's inability to give her a new stick of gum?

_Oh, hell to the no!_


	6. Brittany and Sam

Fandom: Glee

One-shot: Brittany's Kissed List

Brittany/Sam

* * *

It had been about a week since Brittany kissed Rachel, or, as she liked to call it 'The Brittberry Moment'. Rachel had taken to giving her odd, suspicious looks during Glee practice. Brittany, of course, had no idea such looks were being shot and had been contently humming to herself and thinking about Lord Tubbington and his Atkins diet.

The blond Cheerio hummed happily to herself as she walked down the hallway with a slightly confused expression on her face. She heard a laugh and paused in her walking. She quickly hid, covering her face with her hands.

There it was again!

She peeked out between her fingers, to find that kid with the really big mouth staring down at a tiny screen that had blue people one it! She stepped closer, looking over his shoulder at the iPod.

"You're that new kid."

He jumped away, quickly hiding it behind his back. His cheeks flushed a light red. He had been watching Avatar. "Brittany… what're you doing here?"

She eyed him suspiciously for a moment, "How do you know my name?"

"I'm Sam. Remember?"

She tilted her head, eyes unfocused for a moment before nodding to herself. "You don't like green eggs and ham," she said matter-of-factly. Her eyes trailed up his face until they settled on his hair and he shifted uncomfortably.

"You have a big mouth and we have the same color hair. Yours is really shiny, but mine's prettier."

What was he supposed to say to that?

"Uh_―_"

"We should make out." She started dragging him towards the Janitors closet. And Sam? Well, he was majorly confused, but when she started kissing him who was he to argue.

Brittany smiled happily to herself; once again her record was perfect. She skipped out, leaving behind a dazed Sam.

* * *

I'm not too sure about this one. :/


End file.
